Part 1: Whenever I Smell Asphalt

I dunno, I think there's something familiar about those clouds.





Ben: And the first thing I saw when I woke up was her face. She said she'd fix my bike. Free. No strings attatched. I should have known then that things are never that simple. Yeah, when I think of Maureen I think of two things: asphalt... and trouble.


You can't tell right now, but that's a hover-car.









Ripburger: I am not waiting for you to die!

Corley: You know I've never liked you, Rip, but you have business know-how and killer instincts that I respect.

R: Why, thank you sir...



C: Riding up to our shareholders' meeting with a gang of bikers? Who do you think you're fooling?

R: The Shareholders, sir! It's good PR to be seen hobnobbing with real Corley Motors customers.

C: What do you know about our customers, Adrian? You've never even been on a bike!



C: Aw, your ears are fine. It's what's between them that scares me.





The bike crushes the tiny Tim Schafer angel hood ornament.







That's our protagonist, Ben. You can tell he's cool because he smokes.



You might have heard of this guy. He voices Ripberger, and a couple other characters who we'll meet later. Ben is voiced by Roy Conrad, who does an amazing job. You really want to watch the video at the bottom of the update and hear the voice-acting for yourself.



This shot is dark because it's fading in.





Biker: ... and if some cash doesn't come our way soon, we're in big trouble.

Ben: Relax. I have a feeling something's coming our way. Something big.



Corley: Eh, you'd better stay out here, Rip. This place is "Bikers Only."











Thin one: Yeah, maybe they took the old guy out back and worked him over with a two-by-four!

Ripburger: Hmmm... An appealing notion, but improbable. More likely he's boring them to death with some tales of the glory days...



Ben: But, Malcolm, isn't that illegal?!?

Corley: Not back then it wasn't!

Ben: So, who do you ride with these days?


Ripburger: Although I'm sure he'd much rather be riding with your little club.

Corley: I told you to wait out in the limo, Ripburger!

R: I thought you might like some help with your sales pitch, Sir.







Ripburger: You would be well compensated for your time, of course.

Ben: Not interested.

R: It's fairly obvious that you could use the money...

B: Listen, I said we're not for rent.



Take note of the guy on the left's tattoo for the next update. Also: take notice of the guy on the right's beard. Seriously, look at it.

Ripburger: Not even if it were Malcolm Corley's dying wish?

Corley: RIPBURGER! That does it! I'm gonna-

Ben: Hold on there, Malcolm. If you don't mind, I'd like to step outside with Mr.Ripburger for a little chat.

R: Excellent idea.



Ben: That's bad news for all of us. He's not just a nice guy...
He's also the last motorcycle maker in the country. What happens to Corley Motors if he dies?

Ripburger: Don't worry, I have a plan. And if you come to the shareholders' meeting with us, you'll find out what it is.

B: No dice, Ripburger. The Polecats are not thugs for rent. If you want to buy muscle, you should go find the Rottwheelers.

R: The old man says it's the Polecats of nothing.

B: Then I guess it'll have to be nothing.

R: Hmmm... and that's your last word? Well, I'd like to make you just one final offer...



Ben gets wacked with a two-by-four from behind.



Bolus is the fat one.



Corley: Boy, is he in for a surprise!

*Ben's motorcycle drives off*

Biker: Where's Ben going?

Ripburger: Your colleague has decided to accept our generous offer after all. As a matter of fact, he's gone on ahead to scout out the route.

C: Well then, let's roll 'em, boys!









Next up: Ben beats some people up.

Bonus!
Video version of the entire intro here.

Part 2: Chapter 2: Glorious Violence

Ben is pissed at being knocked out and thrown in a dumpster. His rage shall be our entertainment! But first, some explanations.



I hope you recognize this. You bring it up by holding the left mouse button down on an object. It lets us interact with things. Our choices are: Hands(take/punch), Foot(kick), and the eyes and mouth of the skull, used for eye and mouth things.



You can also look at the sign, which says:



Do not play in or around dumpster. Do not kick dumpster. Do not sleep in dumpster. Usage of this container for disposal of human remains may be a violation of local health ordinances.

Let's see what happens if we use our mouth!



Ben is a wuss and does not want to lick a dumpster.





Ben is bad enough to care about the environment. Moving to the front of the bar...





Good thing for him...





I don't like that.

The obvious place to look is the bar.



Strangely, the door is locked. Luckily, Ben is not a key-searching kind of guy.





Using the foot option, we kick the door down.







Barkeeper: Look, I don't want no trouble. Just leave me out of this mess.

Let's look at the fancy televisions!









We decide to engage the barkeep in a little chat.

Barkeeper: Yeah, your gang took off with those... those well-dressed gentlemen. So,

What'll it be, Mac?

Ben: Where'd everybody head off to?

Bar: What am I, the cruise director? Maybe they're up on the lido deck. Heh heh.

Ben: I think you're in on this whole bum deal.

Bar: Yeah, well whaddaya gonna do about it?

I think we all know the answer to that question.

Ben: I wanna know who knocked me out.

Bar: Maybe you just passed out. You should learn to handle your liquor.

Ben: I'm looking for my keys.

Bar: I have no idea what you're talking about.

Ben: I've never liked noserings.

Bar: Me neither, but someone dared me.





I'm sorry, I wasn't paying attention. Anyway, It's time for the good part.







Ben: The bar.

Just in case you didn't notice. So far we have encountered three obstacles in our adventure.

1- Being stuck in a dumpster
2- A locked door
3- An uncooperative person

We have solved them with.

1- punching
2- kicking
3- general violence and intimidation.

Are you starting to see what makes this game great yet?



Bar: All right! All right! I got your keys, but I don't know nothin'. They had guns!

They told me to stall you as long as possible.

Ben: Why?

Bar: I don't know! I don't know! I overheard them say something about an ambush up the

road.

Ben: What else?

Bar: Nothing! Nothing!





Bar: Someone did say something about killing you and making it look like an accident.

Ben: They didn't do too good of a job there. But why ambush the Polecats? I'd better get moving.

With those keys, we can RIDE!













Ben is on his way, but runs into a rival biker! Will he be able to fight his way out?

Yeah, I'd say so.



Ben: Yeah, and you're in my way.

Rottwheeler: Well, get used to it, Bud. When the Rottwheelers hit the road, we own it.

B: Look, I'm serious. Someonw's ambushing the Polecats--

R: SOMEONE'S AMBUSHING THE POLECATS!?! Oh HEAVENS! What ever will we do? Ha ha ha!



Time for the first biker-battle! Click here to watch this exciting fight scene.
Afterwords...





Wheelies are cool.



That isn't so cool.









Mild discomfort.













Next time: Meeting some new friends.

BONUS VIDEO: You know what would look better on your nose?

Part 3: Let's Play Full Throttle - Chapter 3: Birth of a fetch quest!

When Ben comes to, it's night. Suddenly there is a flash and the sounds of a camera.





Reporter: Now I have to get you some help I suppose?

Ben: *groan*

R: Ah, quit moanin'! I know someone around here who can fix anything.









Woman: And apparently, a pretty good doctor as well. My name's Maureen.

Ben: My name's Ben. Why did you hit me over the head, Maureen?

Maureen: You were in an accident. A reporter found ya and brought you and your bike here-

B: My bike! What have you done with my bike?!?







Ben: Who are you?

Maureen: Maureen, remember? If that's too hard, maybe you should stick with "Mo."

B: Do you have a LAST name?

M: I prefer not to use it. What about you?

B: Same deal.

M: Then it's Ben and Mo forever, I guess.

B: This an authorized Corley service center?

M: You could call this a Corley service center... but I don't have the official paperwork.

B: Ah, an illegitimate Corley operation!

M: I prefer to think of it as a RENEGADE Corley operation.

B: Where'd you learn bikes?

M: I grew up working on 'em with my dad. One summer we did nothing but restore this old hardtail together. I mean, we scrubbed every bolt until it shined... but he took off one day and never came back. So I switched to toasters.

B: You live in this town?

M: Well Melonweed's not much of a town. What's left of it is sinking about a foot a year. People either learn to adjust, or they leave, which is fine with me.

B: Not a people-person?

M: I'm just better with toasters, that's all.







M: The front forks were wasted, so you'll have to get some new ones.
And someone stole my welding torch, can you believe that? I can't finish without one.
And last, but not least, I patched up your ruptured gas tank, but you're out of fuel and I don't have any.

B: Where am I supposed to find all this stuff?

M: You can hack it, tough guy.

THE FORKS!

M: Well, they don't have to be NEW new, just not broken into little pieces. You could start by asking Todd, in the trailer across the way. He runs the junkyard.

THE TORCH!

I don't know. Set up a dragnet! I stil can't believe someone would steal my torch. Who around here would do a thing like that?

THE GAS!

Well, there's a whole TOWER full of it at the edge of town. I have this crazy, irrational intuition that tells me maybe it's worth checking out.

B: Actually I think I can handle it.

M: Good.



M: Trouble with the law?

B: Not in this county.

M: Then what's the hurry?



I'm feeling nice, so you get to read all three choices!

---
1: M: The Polecats?

B: How'd you know that?

M: Big emblem on the back of your jacket.

B: They're headed for an ambush, so I gotta catch them.


2: M: Ambush? Who's ambushing who?

B: Not sure, but my gang's involved.


3: M: Why would someone want to kill you?

B: To get me out of the way so they could ambush the Polecats.
---
In any event: M: We'd better get this bad boy back on the road then, eh?

B: I don't have any money to pay you with.

M: Hey, this one's free. I haven't touched anything besides a toaster for so long... Getting my hands on your hog has really been a pleasure.

B: Well, thanks.

M: Don't sweat it.

B: Well, I'll let you get back to work...

M: Met me know if you need any aspirin or anything.

Right, let's look at stuff.







Are you sure it isn't? Only one way to find out!



Pff... alright, we'll just take it then.









M: Oh, that's me and my Uncle Pete! He took care of me after Dad split, at this place he called the Mink Ranch. When he died, he left it to me.

B: You're a mink farmer?

M: No, that place went belly-up long before he died. But I still go back there whenever I need to get away for a while.

Enough foreshadowing, let's go on our fetch-quest!





Ben: I heard you saved my life.

Miranda: Yeah, but don't worry. I wasn't trying to. I was just looking for some nice roadside disaster photos, and you helped.

B: Who'd want a picture of me bleeding?

M: It's not the blood, it's the way you were all twisted up like a pretzel.

B: Listen, I've got to stop an ambush.

M: Ambush! Really? Where?

B: I don't know, exactly. My crew is escorting some VIPs to the Corley Motors shareholders' metting and there's an ambush waiting for them somewhere up the road.

Uh... I, I...

M: Yeah?

B: This is hard for me, I, I need...

M: Come on, man, spit it out!





Miranda: You're right! We have to get to the ambush, all right! But I'm afraid I'm without wheels at the moment.

Ben: How did you get us HERE?

M: Hitched.

B: Well, I'd better be going.

M: All right, Drive safe now.

Something suspicious about this girl.





Let's kick her!



Oh, well.



At least the ability to close the mailbox can console me. We leave off the the left.









Miranda takes off in her car. I really have no idea how Ben missed it.







Melonweed! We have just a few locations available: Mo's house. Todd's trailer, The junkyard and the gas tower. Right now, we head to the trailer.



Ben: Either someone's doing some welding down there... Or we're talking about some very sub-code wiring.







He's talking about the sandbags, if it isn't obvious.



Another flimsy locked door. Let's knock first anyway. To be polite.



The flashing stops, and after a short delay...





Todd: I don't got time to wste on bums like you! Ahhhh, ya lousy frmble grmble grmble!

This man has been unkind to us. Injury occurs....





Now.







Loot loot loot.





We score some meat and a lockpick from Todd's house. Those, and one other thing...



Secret elevator.



Uh... kay.



Lots of creepy shit in this room.



Mo: That's my welding torch! How did you get it?

Ben: Oh, it was just lying around.

M: A pair of forks, and a little gas, and we're set.

Next: The Two Towers! One of them is made of cars.

Part 4: The Fetching of Various Things

First, we head back into Mo's and grab this hose because I forgot it in the last update.



Now we head to the gas tower. The sign says that the top of the fence is electrified and the door is too heavy to kick down this time. Luckily, we picked up a secet weapon at Todd's. A lockpick!





We also take the lock, because the concept of stealing a padlock is hilarious to me. And you need it, naturally.



Touching the ladder sets off an alarm, but we climb it anyway because we have little or no respect for loud noises.





Police: I'm talkin' to you, boy! You are trespassin' on private property! Remain still and we will not shoot you.





Long story short: They lied, so we run for our lives.

The Fuzz: I get to say "FIRE" before you do that, Floyd.

Floyd: Sorry, boss. I got excited.



Change of plans. This time we trigger the alarm and hide. You can just see a bit of Ben poking out behind those containers to the left of the curser.



Five-O: Hey! Where is he?

Floyd: I told you, I nailed him last time!

O: Then who set off the alarm, Floyd?

F: Maybe somebody's just foolin' with us.

O: Naw, it's him. It's that guy you keep missing.

F: Well if you could hold this thing still while I'm shootin'...

They land.



Po-Po: Nah, we woulda seen him runnin' from the air. He must be hiding up in the tower!

F: We got 'em treed!

P: Let's go up and get 'em!

Anyway, while they mess around up there, I'm going to siphon gas from their tank.



Right, you need a hose for that.







Floyd: Let's call it quits, huh boss?

Boss: No... Let's call in reinforcements!



Mo: Oh, good. You get this from the gas tower?

Ben: Not exactly.

Two down: We're off to the junkyard.



Open up, Todd! Oh yeah, I knocked him out.



That chain opens the door.





NEW PLAN!



By using that lock from the gas tower on the door...



We lock the chain in place so that it can be climbed.



Right on top!



Click here for the video.

After all that fun fun fun, we head to the right where the dog went.



TV says dogs are rendered harmless by meat. It's like the paper to their rock. You have a short window here to throw the meat into a car before the dog notices you.





After that, you can go back to the wall and walk right to the big crane. The hardest part of this puzzle is knowing that the crane is even there.



All we need to do is lift the car with the dog in it, but that's no fun.



Sadly, this is as high as you can stack. The blue car I've got the magnet holding now is the one with the dog in it, by the way. All we need to do now is go back and grab the forks.



Mo: Nice forks! Where'd you find them?

Ben: Right next to the knives and spoons.

M: Well, that's it! Wait outside for a minute and I'll finish 'er up. I'm working on a surprise.

Outside...

B: I hate surprises.

M: All right, here she comes!



Ben: You're amazing! I should crash that thing every day! So, what's the surprise?

Mo: Oh... just your average, everyday, pre-regulation, destroyer-class, solid-fuel recoil booster.

B: You're serious.

M: Yes.

B: But only the Vultures...

M: I have my connections. Now, are you gonna try this thing out or not?



Ben: I wish I had some way of paying you back.

Mo: Just beat it, will ya? You're scaring away my regular customers. Send me a postcard from the ambush!



Basically, Ben's Bike's been made better.

Anyway, we are well on our way to the amb-



Ah. Right.

Boss: He's a sneaky one.

Floyd: This time, he ain't gettin' past us!

B: See him?

F: Nope.

B: Keep lookin'.

Ben rides back into Melonweed.



No use going back to Mo. Looks we need a wacky scheme to get out of here.

Next: Plot, mostly.

Bonus!
The music when you climb into the junkyard is pretty neat. Wanna see and hear it? Try this video.

Part 5: The Ambush

When we last left off, our hero needed some way of getting past a police roadblock.



Triggering the alarm again does the trick.



Boss: He's got a lotta nerve, that piece of trash!

Floyd: Let's get him.

B: All units follow me.



Suckers!





Finally!

Polecat: Ben! How'd you get behind us?

Ben: Where are the suits?

P: Corley's making a pit stop. He has a bladder the size of a thimble, man...

B: Ripburger?

P: Haven't seen him in a while. Ben, man, what's the deal? Did you find something up the road? Are we headed for trouble?

B: No. We're in it.



Corley sings:

Put my head in a basket
'Cause I'd had a tank full
When she blew my gasket
I surely was thankful
'Til I head for the skies up above;
It's a woman with wheels that I love.



Miranda: I got ya. Now, do something incriminating, like ambush somebody!

...A-ha! The plot thickens!







Ripburger: You shouldn't have laughed at me in those board meetings, Malcolm!

Miranda: What a psycho!



Big Henchman: Hey, look what I found in the bushes!

Ripburger: What is what?

Miranda: It's a choke hold. Come here and I'll demonstrate!

R: It's got a camera!



Miranda gets free and runs off.

Ripburger: No! Nestor will take care of her.

That guy couldn't take care of ANYTHING without Howard.

R: You have an important engagement with the rest of the Corley family.

Bolus: Right!

R: But don't forget to destroy that camera!

B: Yeah, yeah!

R: Now then, Malcolm...how about one for the road?

Ben: Corley?

Ripburger flees the scene as Ben comes from around the corner.



Corley: --cough-- I guess Ripburger couldn't wait for natural causes. Just like him to hit a man when his fly's down. Heh, heh. --cough--

Ben: Ripburger did this to you?

C: Yeah, he knew I was dying... and he knew that my will would put him out of a job. He wants to take over Corley Motors, Ben! Sell it off to foreigners, lay off workers, start making minivans. You understand me? MINIVANS-- unhhh!

You gotta hurt him for me, Ben Promise me you'll hurt him bad!

B: I promise.

C: --cough-- I want my daughter to take over the company.

B: You have a daughter?

C: Yeah, and she's a real mechanical genius, Ben! Rebuilt her first carburetor when she was four! I used to call her the Diapered Dynamo--







-----

Meanwhile...






Mo doesn't seem to need help.



I just hope Maureen can handle herself until I get there.

She can.



But why'd he bring a camera? Who does this guy work for? ...CORLEY MOTORS?!?

Seeing an approaching limo, Mo escapes into the night.



Nestor: I don't know, Rip, but I think that pile is Bolus.

Ripburger: *sigh* Yes, now I remember... YOU'RE the smart one, aren't you?



Maybe I beat them here.





No Mo. Let's check the rubble outside.



She said she went there whenever she needed to get away for a while. That's pretty much my only lead right now.



Stay closed, damn you.
Anyway, trying to head back to the crime scene...



They'll be coming this way soon. I gotta get a plan, fast!

So the only way to go is forward. Or rather, backwards.



Back to the kickstand. Heading around to the back to see our old friend Mr. Dumpster.



Oh hey, another old friend, what are the chances?

Ben: You know, it stank in there, but I can't remember a better sleep.

Miranda: You gotta help me! Go find my editor in Corville, tell him I took pictures of the Corley murder.

B: You got pictures!?

M: Yeah, but some thug took my camera!

B: So... you DON'T have any pictures.

M: Well, I tracked the guy to Melonweed... But I'm not going near the place! They'd kill me! Get my editor! He's got to get me out of this! Take one of these fake IDs to get through the roadblocks. My career is riding on those pictures! Help me, Ben, You're my only hope!

B: Oh, don't worry. I owe you one!

The next logical step is to kick the dumpster.





Next: On the run. Oh, and a hidden minigame.

Part 6: Knives and Fish

BACK TO THE BARTURE!


Ben: What?

Bartender: Ayy, it's cool-- Your secret's safe with me!

Ben: What secret?

Bar: Haven't you been watching the news?



Anchor: Malcolm Corley, owner of Corley Motors, was found...DEAD...at a rest stop just outside the town of Melonweed! Apparently, the benevolent patriarch and CEO was... VICIOUSLY BEATEN ABOUT THE HEAD AND NECK! SAVAGELY, AND WITHOUR MERCY!...Police have arrested a notorious outlaw biker gang known as "The Polecats."-

Ben: No!

A:...With the exception of their leader, who is still at large. Roadblocks have been set up along Highway 9 in an effort to apprehend this... DANGEROUS AND VIOLENT CRIMINAL!

B: We've been set up!



Ben: I shouldn't have left the gang there!

Bartender: Hey, I don't want to hear anything about it! You ain't making ME an accessory fter the fact! Just lay low, man.

and now for "examining the pictures on the back wall" theater.

Ben: What's this?

Bar: It's a big, blobby, gray shape. I was takin' an art class...

Ben: That's one big fish.

Bar: Yep.

Ben: Are you the guy with the lampshade on his head, or the guy chuggin' out of the punch bowl?

Bar: Lampshade.

Ben: This your pitbull?

Bar: No, that's my baby picture.

Ben: Whoa.

Bar: Watch it, that's my sister.

And that is all! Now for beer-drinkin'


And trucker-kickin'.


Well, okay. We'll just talk to him, then.

Ben: Seem to have a lot of time on your hands. Not to mention nicks and scratches. Heh, heh. Am I destracting you?

Note: Emmet here is playing something like mumbly peg, trying to jab the knife between your fingers without hurting yourself. You'll see in a moment.

Ben: That your truck out front? I need a ride.

Emmet: I look like a cabbie to you? Get lost! They're not letting anyone through that road block, anyway.

Bartender: Not even truckers?

E: They turned me around, said "Police business only." Pigs.

Ben: Look, I really need a ride.

E: Not gonna happen.

Ben: Why? 'Cuz you're afraid of some cops?

E: No, because I don't like you.

Ben: I just killed a guy.

E: I'm just about to.

Ben: I don't think that's good for the table.



We are just learning the SHIT out of people's names tonight.

Quohog: Yeah, Emmet?

Emmet: I'm gonna be knifin up yer table for a while, alright?

Q: The customer with the knife is always right.

Ben: Friendly folks you get in here.

Q: Emmet's not what you'd call an "I'm OK, You're OK" person.

E: Ah, shut yer hole, Quohog!

You can ask to try, but Emmet won't let you unless you ask about a dozen times. It's a hidden Easter Egg.



Click here for the video of a victory, or just scroll down and see what you know you'll end up doing anyway.





Well, we already have something Emmet wants.



Ben: Here.

Emmet: What's that?

B: Fake federal investigator ID. Could be of some use at one of those roadblocks. Ever hear of this place--Uncle Pete's Mink Ranch?

Quohog: I remember there used to be some sorta weasel plantation or something up the road...

E: Down highway 9, on the other side of them damn roadblocks. I used to pick up mink meat there real cheap and sell it to school lunch programs! Heh, heh. That was a good scam!

B: So how about a ride?



Emmet: It's buried in a pile of concentrated fertilizer powder. Trust me, no one's gonna dig through that crap. Now, yer gonna ride in the engine compartment.

Ben: The engine compartment?

E: Hey, I smuggle stuff in there all the time, and most of it's worth more than you. So, stuff yer carcass in there quick and we might hit that mink dump by morning.

B: Hope you're better with a stick shift than you are with a knife.

E: Yeah, yeah.



Ben: I love engine fires.

Cop: Sorry sir, only police vehicles beyond this point.

Emmet: I'm with the feds, chump. Check it out.

C: Huh? What's this about?

E: Undercover agricultural sting operation.

C: What's in the back?

E: Fertilizer.

C: All right, move along.

E: Hope you rubes get your man! Heh, heh, heh!

Ben drifts into a potentially lethal-from-gas-fumes sleep. When he awakes, he finds the truck has stopped.


Emmet Heh Heh Heh, loose hose, nuthin big...

NOTE: I don't know why the subtitles were always "Heh, heh, heh" before and "Heh Heh Heh" now.

E: I, uh, already pulled your bike out. It's sittin' right over there. Well, nice knowin' ya. Gotta hit the road, y'know...



And he took my fuel line to fix it! That trucker's gonna die for what he did!

Well that's a pain. The barn is locked and there isn't anything interesting to examine/lick out here, so it's time to check out the house.



Here's a picture for reference. I'll just transcribe the descriptions for the various objects like so:

Trunk: It's a trunk with a Corley Motors sticker on it. Tough looking padlock

The Largest Picture: There's a picture of Maureen and Malcolm. Looks like they're restoring an old hardtail together.

Any other picture: Lot's of bikes.

Banner on the back wall: That's the insignia of the Vultures! I can't believe that Mo used to be a Vulture, but then again, how else could she have gotten that recoil booster?

Mink Pelt: Lookd like a mink pelt.

Bed: Rustic. Kick the bed: Not after Mo made it so nice.

Window: This must be the window Maureen stared out of as a young girl... dreaming of her life repairing toasters.

Try to take a photo: No momentos. I'll have scars enough to remind me of this trip.

And with that we begin the looting.



There is a tire iron hidden under the pillow. I hope nobody ever went to sleep and forgot it was there.



We force the chest with our new friend.

Ben: Ah, junk. ...and a hose I can use on my bike. I don't think Mo would mind if I borrow 'em.

Suddenly, a noise is heard!

B: Mo?








Ben takes to the road to chase Mo. He passes Emmet on the way. This is an important detail, but a boring screenshot.



Just when Ben is catching up, Mo recoil-boosts away! Ben looks to give chase, but...



Ben: Why is she running from me? She must think the whole world's against her. I think I know how that feels.



Emmet is a jerk and sideswipes Ben's bike with his truck, which seems crazier the more I think about it.



Note his imperial tattoo. That's our second Star Wars reference. It just wouldn't be a Lucasarts game without 'em.

Ben: That's it!






Ben: That sign... That means I'm in.. Cavefish territory!



LONE BIKE...NO THREAT



FREIGHT TRUCK...TARGET



It's the Cavefish!



Emmet freaks out and releases his trailer at them, taking on of the Cavefish out.



One of them shoots this onto his truck. It might not be so obvious without the noise, but it's a bomb.



I don't know why people even bother building bridges any more.



Cavefish: We have been tricked, my brothers! Back to the cave!

Meanwhile, back at the (mink) ranch...



Bolus: The place looks deserted. Maybe the boss was wrong, and she ain't comin' here.

Nestor: She's coming! We just got here first!



Next: Bike fights, chainsaws, and a chase scene. Oh, and the most old guy of them all.

Part 7: Mine Road MEGATHREAD!

I'm a bit dissapointed that trying to eat this stuff just gets you an "I'm not putting my lips on that." Sierra wouldn't have let me down like that.



We take some of the fertilizer. Ben just sticks it in his pocket, I guess.

Checkin' out the truck.
Ben: Looks like Emmet dropped a load here.

Taking out the tire iron, we use it for it's intended purpose. With the tires loosened, we can use our handy kick command...



To do this.

What a mess

With all that done, we head out on the open road.



You have a limited ability to steer out here (You can move left and right) and you click to take an exit to the Mine Road or stop at certain locations. We'll get to that. First, we head as far as we can.



No way to get across yet. Let's read signs!



Top left picture: "Professor Schmetterling's experimental flying suit."

Bottom left:"This is the last picture ever taken of Professor Schmetterling"

Small plaque:"NOTICE: Jumping over Poyahoga Gorge, although tempting, is highly illegal and dangerous. We recommend the recently constructed Poyahoga Gorge Bridge, for trans-gorge travel. Drive safely!"

Top-middle:"One of the gorge's many casualties."

Top-right:"Ricky Myran's infamous gorge jump."

The big plaque:"Tightrope walkers, hang gliders, human canonballs... Many have tried to cross the mighty Poyahoga Gorge...and many have failed. Except for Ricky Myran, the flying torch, who jumped the gorge on a 'stock' Corley Motorcycle. It was later uncovered that he had modified his Corley with a pre-regulation, destroyer-class, solid-fuel recoil booster, and an automotive hover lift. Myran said he would gladly replicate the jump to clear his name, but his special ramp was stolen by a mysterious, truck-hikacking motorcycle gang."

Ben: Hmmm... Recoil booster and a hover lift, eh? Thanks for the tip, Rick. You're right, though. I'll need that ramp.

Ok, now to do something that Ben could not possibly know to do if he did not have the omnipotent power of an adventure game player. We drive all the way back to the ranch.



And get the attention of these jerks.

Nestor: Ha ha ha! Look at him run!





They crash because Nestor keeps turning the wheel wildly even though there are no turns for ages and he should know it.



Bolus: Boss! It ws Nestor's fault!

I actually agree with him, there.

Ripburger: Get in quick. I have a plan. We're going to lure the Corley remnant out of hiding, with a bike.

Nestor: Boss, she already has a bike.

R: Yes, but this one, she worked on with her father. It's an emotional thing; don't try to understand. Now, hurry!

With those jerks gone, we do the sensible thing: Loot. And kick the car for a chuckle.



Using the tire iron, we force the car open and yoink the hover lift. One down- we need fuel for the booster and that ramp. Time to hit the mine road.



As before, you don't have to control steering or anything, just avoid hitting any big boulders. You drive down this road until you find someone, then you fight them. Win or lose, afterwords you continue on in the loop. The first biker we meet, however, is... different.





Father Torque: Hey, Ben! How's my gang doin'?
I notice he has the same initials as the game itself. Just a thought.

Ben: Eh... That's a long story. What are you doing out here?

F: Well, retirement's pretty boring, Ben. So, I thought I'd come out to the Old Mine Road and look for trouble!

B: You're picking fights?

F: That's what the Old Mine Road's for, son.

B: Father Torque, I need your help. The gang's in jail and the law--

F: Ben, I'm not the leader of the Polecats anymore. You are. Can't you see I'm on permanent vacation?

B: Any fighting tips, Torque?

F: Aw, Ben... Who's tougher than you?

B: Nobody, but those Rottwheelers are uglier.

F: They're none too bright, either. I'm sure you can handle it.

B: The Vultures are quick, and they're nuts!

F: The ones with those boosters are hard to whip... Just remember, Ben, it's not about muscle... It's about TIMING!

B: What's up with those Cavefish, man?

F: Watch out, Ben--They're not out here for sport. They hijack big rigs. It's part of their religion. Don't get in their way: They're blind, cold-hearted killers.

B: How do the Cavefish ride if they're blind?

F: Well, they're only blind because they wear those special goggles to shield their sensitive cave-dwelling eyes. Special sensors in the goggles pick up the dots in the road, and other large objects and landmarks to help them navigate. Kind of trippy, huh?

B: You know any way around Poyahoga Gorge?

F: Around it? It's miles and miles long, Ben! What's the matter? Don't like bridges?

B: It blew up.

F: Ooooh! Sorry I missed that! Well... You could jump it, like Ricky Myran. Cavefish got his ramp in their hideout, you know.

B: Where is the Cavefish hideout, exactly?

F: Somewhere on this road. The entrance is totally invisible, unless you got those weird Cavefish specs.

Can't talk any more, Ben! Eatin' too many bugs!

B: Well, take it easy, Father.

F: Give 'em Hell, Polecat.

Well, that was a lot to read. Sadly, you won't see Father Torque on the mine road any more after this, but don't worry. He'll be back before the end of the game.




Now then... the mine road. I already explained the fighting in my last reply (Summary: clickclickclickclick) But I didn't explain the weapons. At first, you have just your fists and feet. Feet being slower but stronger, and almost completely useless. Those are naturally pretty weak, so you also have that tire iron at this point. It's slow too, but pretty strong. You get more as you beat bikers. Speaking of which...

THE OPPONENTS!
Not in the order I met them, so you'll notice I have a few weapons I haven't mentioned yet equipped.



This moron again. You know, the guy Ben beat soundly way back at the beginning? For some reason he still thinks he's hot stuff. Difficulty: Wuss



Has a chain, making him slighty tougher than that other guy. Still easy to take down, at which point you get his chain. The chain can be lost if used on certain people, in which case you need to get another one.



Token girl. Her most notable feature is her scream when you knock her off her bike.



This guy is slightly different from the other Rottwheeler in appearance. He also has a skull-mace, which is a powered-up chain. It, too, can break. Other than his rebel alliance tatoo, he's not a very interesting enemy, but...



YEAH!



This guy jets off soon after you start the "fight." Use the chain on him, however, and he finds his bike gone without him.



So naturally we steal his fuel.




This is, I think, a woman. It has a chainsaw, either way, which is insta-lose for you if you get hit. Luckily, this biker is highly vulnerable to having fertilizer thrown in its face. Do that and you win yourself a chainsaw.



Deadly weapons!



The last Rottwheeler has a 2x4. It's incredibly strong. Only the chainsaw can reasonably stand against him.



This is our man. The cavefish will not attack directly, but coming close to him means he uses an oil slick to make you fall. He's so close to the ground that only the 2x4 can reach him. You also need to wait until you go over some bumpy ground, at which point he sits up a bit. You can also force him to the side of the road to beat him, but then you get a cutscene of him blowing up his bike and you don't get to keep the specs. The idea is that you need to actually KO him with the 2x4.



SUCCESS!



Use the right mouse button to slip them on and wait until you see the indicator flash "cave", then left click.



You're in!



You can have Ben throw a rock at the base, which shows you that it has a forcefield around it, of all things. Luckily, the ramp in sitting outside, so we hitch it to the bike and ride.



Those jerks give chase, though.



Cavefish 1: And who was he?

Cavefish 2: My brothers, we have been visited by a spirit... the spirit of Ricky Myran, come to reclaim his ramp!

1: Why did he leave it here?

2: He can't use it, because he is a spirit. He is only expressing his anger, which we must honor. Oh, Angry Spirit of Ricky Myran, we honor your rage! But, for now, the ramp must go back.

Ben then comes out of hiding as they leave. Time for a scheme.



This time we use the ramp to scrape a few of those dots off the road. Remember how the Cavefish use those dots to navigate?



WOOPS!



Ben throws his Cavefish specs into the abyss.

All right, I've modified my bike enough.









Ben clears the gap in style. After that little detour, we are off.







...Holy ground.

Next: Bunnies where you would not expect bunnies to be.
We're getting near to the end, but we still have a ways to go.

Bonus!
Jumping the gorge: Here

Part 8: Ben and the bunnies. And the destruction derby.

Ben's reaction to te spinning Corley Motors sign is another thing you just have to hear to fully appreciate.
Heading up to the front doors..



This is really a religious pilgrimage for me. A religious pilgrimage with a lot of butt-kicking.



Man: Mr. Ripburger has postponed the meeting until Mr. Corlet's murderers are apprehended. All the shareholders were notified.

Ben: Yeah, well I haven't checked my voicemail lately, Mac.

Let's try again for some reason!

B: Hey! Open up! Let me in!

M: Beat it!

B: Jerk.

Time to look around for something else to do, then. Take, for example, that big stadium out front.



It's none other than Horace the souvenir guy! I've never met him, but the magic wheel of action-picking knows his name!

Horace: What can I get ya?

Ben: Why all the lights down here?

H: We got a demolition derby tonight! First prize is a vintage Corley hardtail completely restored by the Old Man himself! Yep.

B: What's this big arena doing way out here?

H: Corley built the Smash-A-Torium so his employees could have some wholesome entertainment nearby. He sure took care of his employees. I got no idea what's gonna happen to us now that he's gone.

B: I'm looking for a good souvenir.

H: Well, good souvenirs is all I got! What can I fix you up with?

Battery operated bunnies!

B: Something small, furry and yellow.

H: Sorry! This is the only set of teeth I got! Heh!
Dang! There goes another one!

B: How 'bout that little car there?

H: It's small, but it's not cheap, my friend! You better just take it for a test drive to make sure.

So we do.



You don't get to do much before it runs out of juice. Back to pretending to want to get things legally...

Ben: Bunnies, and plenty of 'em!

Horace: You want bunnies! I got yer bunnies. How much you got on ya?

B: Uh, can I just take them out for a test drive?

H: I think you may not be ready for the kind of commitment that comes with the Corley Bunny Value-Pak.

B: Those shirts come in extra-extra-large?

H: Eh..eh, no... But they're pre-shrunk.

B: No thanks. What do those pennants say on 'em?

H: "Can't beat a Corley!" they say. Kind of ironic, actually, considering how he died... Still, look great on your bedroom wall!

B: No walls. My bike is my home.

H: We could set you up with a little flag pole so you could make a flag, y'know, for yer back seat?

B: I'll, uh, think about it.

H: Do you actually have any money?

B: As much as I need.
Seen any Vultures around here?

H: Nah, we don't have much of a Vulture problem here... Even though their hideout is right up the road. They stay pretty much locked up in there... not very social.

B: What's in the hat?

H: I dunno. Came filled with it. Probably some sort of packing material. Packs a punch, I'll tell ya that much!
Looky here. Nothing personal... but why don't you mosey along and stop scaring away all the other customers, all right?

B: Just clearing my throat.

Enough of that crap, then. Pilfering time!

Excuse me, but are those...shirts, uh... are they all cotton?

Horace: Well, uh... let's see here.

Adventure game tactic #31: distract and swipe.



Works every time.

Horace: One-hundred percent cotton!

Ben: Oh, uh... that's too bad. I'm allergic to cotton

Time to visit some vultures. You need to the bike off the road and up to their hideout.



Spooky.



I've heard a lot about the Vultures...

Ben throws a rock.



...and I guess it's all true. I wonder how they keep it so smooth?

Now the moment all the veterans of this game have been waiting for. We summon the noblest of God's battery-powered creatures to clear the minefield.



We take the battery.



This means we can use the remote-control car again.



Driving the car through that turnstile gets it stuck. The door is exit only, you see. It might be a bit of an oversight that you should just be able to drive it back out.



Horace: Now look what you did! The entrance is all the way through the factory! Hang on li'l buddy! Daddy's comin'!

Ben: Now it's just me and the bunnies.

We take the Corley Bunny Value Pack. If you try to use it on anything but the minefield, you get "Not with my box of bunnies.", which is a pretty funny quote out of context. I mean, the person hearing it has to sit there and imagine why you would have a box full of bunnies in the first place.
Anyway, we can't head through the factory entrace Horace took because everyone in there thinks Ben killed their beloved leader.



Tidy little Vultures.

Strength in numbers!




ehh... Well. It's a bit harder than that, then.



Once you use one and leave the minefield, you get this little scene of Horace chasing the car, which is moving on its own at this point somehow. He leaves another box, so I grab one and use it. This time, I take all the bunnies before any of them blow up. Now I have a box-worth of individual bunnies. I grab another box for later, too. You can do this with one box, but I have plans...



If you let the bunnies off one-by-one instead of all together, you can clear a path without needing a full box. I have three left, plus the extra box.







Suzi: You sure?

Mo: Yeah. That's the guy who killed my father.

S: Alright, Vultures! Rack 'em up!



Ben: Listen, Mo! You're making a big mistake!

Mo: Oh, Ben. You're right. We shouldn't do this quickly. We should draw this out, don't you think, Suzi?

Suzi: Hey, I got all night. You heard her, kids... Let's DRAW this out!

Just imagine them pulling on Ben and him groaning every few lines.

B: Your father--

M: Don't you DARE talk about my father, you heartless bastard!

B: Corley and I-- OR Malcolm wants... Two options, same result.

M: I said, shut up about my dad!

B: I'm losing my temper, Maureen!

M: You're about to lose much more!

B: Okay, that's enough!

M: Mmmm... not quite.

B: I'm innocent!!!

M: You're in-something all right!

B: Let me go, or else...

M: Or else WHAT?

B: I'll sick the Polecats on you!

M: The Polecats are in jail, Ben. You put them there, remember?

B: I'll tear this place apart!

M: Ironic choice of words, Ben.

B: I'll get blood all over your driveway!

M: That's good for the landscaping, actually.

B: I'll call you names!

M: Ohhh.. like what?

B: Mink Farmer!
Freaky, Toaster-loving Old Maid!
Rat-Bike-Riding, Rubber-covered Vultures!

Diapered Dynamo!

M: How-- Where'd you hear that name?

B: Your father. He told me just befoe he died.

M: You bludgeoned my father, and then talked about old times?

B: I didn't kill him! Ripburger did! A photographer took pictures, but her camera was stolen by the same thug that came after you.

I'm pretty sure Ben wasn't there when either of those things happened. I suppose it could be an educated guess. Bolus was clearly the muscle.

M: I...I still have that roll...

B: Well, develop it, would ya? While I still fit in my clothes?

M: Okay, you stay here.

B: Hey!



Mo: Sorry.

Ben: Yeah, well. Don't sweat it...

M: I'm going to get Ripburger, even if I die trying.

B: No. We have to expose Ripburger at the shareholders' meeting. That way, we take him down, we save my gang, AND your father gets his dying wish... You take over Corley Motors.

M: Ripburger canceled the shareholders' meeting. He made a statement to the press that there would be no meeting until the murderers were brought to justice.

B: So, no shareholders' meeting until we're both dead?

M: That could be arranged...



Suzi: Faking Ben and Maureen's death, act one, scene one. Adrian Ripburger, in a desperate attempt to lure our Maureen out of hiding, has developed the following lame-ass scheme: First prize at tonight's smash-up derby is a vintage hardtail that Mo restored with her dad. Rip hopes Mo will try to nab said bike on accounta her sentimental attatchment to it. So Ben and Mo play along, put on disguises, and enter the demolition derby. Which ends tragically when their cars explode and both are presumed dead.

Ben: Ah... question.

S: Please save your questions until the end.



S: This ejector seat projects Mo clear of the explosion, and she parachutes to safety.

B: Don't you think someone will notice her ejecting out of her car?

S: No, they'll all be watching you running around on fire.

B: Yeah, that's another question I have--



I need to see if I can get some bigger pictures of this with no subtitles. I'll add them later, maybe. You can see all sorts of little things written on the blueprints.

S: ...and run around the stadium distracting the audience. In your cute little asbestos suit, of course.

B: That's some plan!

S: Alright, then, let's go blow you little darlin's up!



Announcer: Hang on to your chili dogs, 'cuz it's time to start The Corley Motors Smash-A-Torium Amateur Driver Ultimate Destruction Maximum Canage Marathon! Let's meet our crash-cage gladiators!



A: He prefers to be known as "The Unknown Avenger," and that's just fine with us, isn't it folks?



Ripburger: Who do they think they're fooling with those ludicrous disguises?

A: And next to him is another newcomer. Please give a big Smash-A-Torium salute to the Princess of Pileup, Doreen Schmorley!

R: Alright, boys... Sick 'em!

A: ...and finally, we have a last-minute addition to the lineup tonight. A deadly-looking team known as "The Boom-Boom Brothers."



A: Alright now, are you ready to see some RECKLESS DRIVING? Are you ready to see some UNNECESSARILY VIOLENT DESTRUCTION? THEN, LET THE DEMOLITION DERBY BEGIN!!!



For the record: Nestor and Bolus are in the blue car, Mo in the yellow and Ben in the red.

Mo: Where ae you, Ben?

Ben: Hang on, Mo! Here I come!

I'll explain what you just watched, in case you didn't quite follow. Bolus and Nestor get Mo stuck in a corner. You can't get by them, so you need to go above them. Going off the ramp onto the brown car stalls it, then you push it off the ramp near the Boom-Boom brothers. The brown car gives you the extra distance you need to get on top of the blue car, so once you go over it you win.



Announcer: Can't see any survivors yet... Wait! What's that? It's the unknown Avenger, and he's on FIRE! Let's give him a hand folks. That looks painful! We really should put him out right away, but what a show, huh?



Next: Well, Ben might want to get put out, for starters. After that, I suppose Ripburger gets his- or something, maybe.

Bonus!
You can get some funny quotes from using the bunnies i thw wrong places.
The derby planning scene is one of my favorites, so here it is in video form.

Part 9: The Villain Exposed

Ben: I AM a diversion.

Suzi: No offense, but we need a bigger one! The bike is guarded!

B: Who cares about the bike!?

S: Mo says it's important, so we're not leaving without it!

B: All right, Ill see what I can do, but I'm burning at both ends here!



Flames! Wonderful flames!

Announcer: Well, folks... it looks like the party's getting a little out of hand. The stadium seems to be catching fire, but let's all remain calm and---



A: Derby's over! Run for your lives!



These guys get their car working again.

Ripburger: Finally! Now, squish that firefly while he's hot!



They chase Ben to the top of the brown car. All you gotta do is jump to their car while they're ramming the brown one, then wait for them to go down a bit and run into the fire. They follow.



Ripburger: What happened? Did you get him?

Nestor: We finally got him, Bolus! That means Ripburger has to make us vice-presidents now, like he promised! And give us ten thousand shares of stock each!
Hmmm... funny smell. What's that? The tempurature light?



Ripburger: Well... on the bright side, I just made twenty thousand shares of stock. Time to start the shareholders' meeting!

Back at Vulture HQ...

Ben: Where's the hardtail?



Ben: What? What happened to your deep, sentimental attatchment to your father's vintage bike?

Mo: Ben, it's just a bike! I can put it back together in about half an hour. That's assuming, of course, I can find that key.

B: What key are you talking about?

M: The key to my dad's safe. I remember he hid it somewhere on this bike... but I've looked everywhere and I can't find anything that even looks like a key!

B: What's in the safe that's so important?

M: My dad's will! I'm counting on him to tell the truth about me finally.

B: Why did he keep you a secret all these years?

M: He didn't want people to find out about my mom.

B: What's so bad about Mrs. Corley?

M: She wasn't my mom.

B: Ah. But how are we going to get in the factory?

M: In the back of the factory, there's a secret entrance that leads straight into Dad's office. He used to sneak me in so I could help him with his bike designs.

B: When he got too old to do all the work himself?

M: No, this is back when I was six.

B: How do I find the secret passage?

M: Well, it's tricky. You have to wait for all the utility meters to turn black... then you kick the wall in just the right spot, and you're in!

B: How do I find the right spot to kick?

M: Dad just knew exactly where to kick it. But I remember there was this big crack in the wall, and if I lined up that crack with my eye level and kicked the wall right in front of me, this weird portal would open.

B: What are we in, anyway?

M: It's a C330 'Big Mouth' Industrial Cargo Jumbo Transport we fixed up. We want to get it rolling so we can take it to biker rallies.

B: You're going to try to fly this thing?

M: Rolling, Ben. Rolling. This baby's flying days are over, just like mine.

B: How was your flight?

M: Well, there were some explosions during takeoff, and I landed in a mine field, but other than that, it was fine.

B: I'm fine, by the way. Thanks for asking.

M: Uh-huh. Great, now help me find that key.

B: Remember that time you tried to kill me?

M: Yeah, we really TAUT you a lesson! Hee hee. *snort*

The key is obviously going to be a number or something instead of an actual key.



You can flip open some compartments and find some numbers. I wrote them down for safe-keeping, but there isn't any way to know which one is right at first to my knowledge.

As we go, Mo hands Ben the pictures of her father's murder and says to show them to someone important if you get the chance.



Headin' to the back of the building.



Those green things are the meters. Timing it so that they are all black is easy. Finding the right spot is not so easy. I have made an image that simulates anyone's first time trying to solve this puzzle.






This is the right spot. The little rock is actually a button. I've just saved you a lot of pain if you play this for yourself.





Sweet. Descriptions:

Desk: Very austere. No drawers.

Painting: Now that's art.

Window: Look at that stadium burn! THAT's gonna take a bite out of the pension fund.

You might have a hard time seeing it at first, but a bit below and right of the desk is a floor-safe.



A six-digit code with only numbers eliminates all but one of our possible codes.



Woosh!



And a tape! I sure hope that's Corley's will.

Into the hall.



The far door is locked. The door closest to Ben needs a keycard. We have one, but let's try the middle door anyhow.





Ripburger:...was not only an inspirational leader, but also a great personal friend. His loss affects us all deeply. Malcolm and I spoke often of the future.



R: And, although his tragic death took him from us sooner than anyone expected... Malcolm Corley's dream remains, and I shall carry out that dream in his memory. Ladies and gentlemen, I am pleased to present to you the future of Corley Motors...



Ben: Ack. Corley was right! I never dreamed it would actually come to MINIVANS, though!



"Mavis" is voiced by Nick Jameson, who also does a couple of the bikers we beat up earlier. Of course, the hilarious part is the fact that it's a man.

Mavis: How long have you been there? Oh, security! Help! SECURITY!
What took ya so long? He ran down the hallway! Move it!



Ben hides in the secret passage.
This time it's the keycard door for us.



Those switches control the motor and lights for this slideshow. Sabotage is the "in" thing to do, so we turn the motor down and the lights up.







Ripburger: This is a disaster!

Mavis: You're telling me! We're going to have some major down-time here... Why don't you tell a joke or something.

R: I don't know any jokes! *turns back to the audience* You know, this reminds me of an amusing anecdote about a...uh...a, uh...

Back in the projector room:

M: Well, I'm out of ideas!

Now we have access to the room she was in before.



We have the tape and pictures, as well as the means to set them up. Now we show the shareholders the real murderer.



Mo: Come over here, Ben.



Mo: (We're finally where we were meant to be all along!)

Next: The endgame.

Part 10: (Better than) Hell on Wheels (would have been).

First up: Here's the video of the entire endgame. The update also covers everything, so watch the video or read the update, or both. It's your call.



Ben: So, after we pick up your bike, we'll go get my gang out of jail.

Mo: And then find out why my gang never showed up to help us!

B: And then you go business suit shopping.

M: Don't remind me.

B: Don't complain. You're going to be rich.

M: At this point, I'd settle for just a little peace and quiet.





A big yellow truck drives up from behind suddenly and starts shooting at Ben and Mo. Wanna guess who it is?





Ripburger speeds up and rams the bike. The bike itself gets stuck on the side of the truck while Ben and Mo are left clinging to the front of it.



Mo can't reach Ben's hand and slips under the truck.

Ripburger: She interrupted my speech, Ben! She really shouldn't have. I was just about to talk about the inherent dangers of motorcycle operation!



That would be a C330 'Big Mouth' Industrial Cargo Jumbo Transport.

Suzi: Can't you make this damn thing go any faster!?!



Now we actually get to play. Not much you can do from the front, but if this truck is like Emmet's, we could go through the engine compartment and get behind!



Sadly, engines are full of spinny choppy things. What about the upper flap?

BUT FIRST: an Easter Egg. Remember those bunnies and that bunny box I had left over?



single bunny

box of bunnies



Ripburger closes the upper flap with his cane if we try to obscure his vision. Again: Not that he really needs to be able to see on this flat road when he has some sort of death wish. Fuck him, let's take his cane. We've looted pretty much everything else to this point.



Ben: You'll need more than a cane when I'm through with you, Ripburger.



The cane is perfect for stopping the blade in the engine. Now we can get to the back of the truck.



One of the fuel hoses is loose, but not loose enough for Ben's bare hands.



Our trusty tire iron saves the day again.





Rip is about to shoot Ben!





Everyone gets taken into the transport. Ben and Mo fall off the back of the truck on the way in.









The cockpit does not like bullets.

Ben: I thought you said this thing couldn't move!

Suzi: I said it couldn't fly, I never said it couldn't taxi!

Mo: Well, flying would be nice since we're headed for the gorge!

B: Ripburger, You're going to kill all of us!

Ripburger: Shhh! Ben, don't ruin the ending!

B: How do you stop this thing?

S: From the cockpit!

Before we go.. you there, under the tarp! Didn't I beat you a bunch of times on the mine road?





Mo: Careful, Ben!

Rip keeps trying to shoot Ben as he goes for the ladder, but you can't actually get hit, only delayed. You shouldn't need to worry if you go right for the ladder.



I could have used those.

What we can use is the computer.



There are a lot of options, but only the right one does anything, so I'll spare you any extras.







"Raise Gear"

Here goes nothing...









Ben returns Mo's favour.









The vultures are still in the plane. Mo comes to the edge to find Ben.

Mo: Ben! Ben! Are you alive?!?

Ben: I am, but I don't know about Ripburger.

M: I can see him.



Mo: Climb back here, quick!

So we do.



Rip still has his gun, and he isn't letting Ben in the plane.

Ripburger: I'm taking you and your friends with me, Ben!

Ben: All you're taking is the wrong kinda medication!

Back to the cab of the truck to use ITS computer.



This time, there is one amusing 'wrong choice', which would be to turn on the engine. I'll cover that later.

Instead we go into Defense Systems-> Machine Guns-> Gun Control-> System Off.



The gun Rip is hanging from retracts.







Ben: Well, that answers that.

I don't know he's talking about, but let's swing into the plane.



The Vultures are getting away from this shitstorm

Mo: Wait! Come back! We need your weight in the plane!



Back in the plane, you COULD try leaving on foot.







Welcome to Let's Mess up Full Throttle! There are three ways to die in this last bit, the only place where you can screw up in the entire game.

1. Take too long at any point.
2. Turn the truck's engine on.
3. Try to leave on foot.

In any case, you just hear Ben say "Let me try that again" and it takes you back to the beginning of whatever section you were on. This is a LucasArts game, after all. If you want to see all the variations in action, watch this video, but they're all basically the same.


Let's do this the RIGHT way.












Father Torque: ...was a game... to him... and he played it... by his own rules. He was... a mystery... to most of us... and yet... an inspiration... to us all.

He gave us FREEDOM... He gave us POWER... He gave us WINGS... He gave us WHEELS. Thank you, Malcolm Corley... for giving us a DREAM...





Mo: So...

Ben: So.

M: Uh, maybe we could do lunch sometime next week...?

B: Yeah, sure. Lunch sounds great.

M: Things aren't going to change, are they, Ben? I mean, just because I'm in charge of the company now and living in a mansion and riding around in limos... That doesn't mean we won't spend a lot of time together, does it?

B: Look, Mo... You're in a different league now. You shouldn't be hanging out with the likes of me anymore...

M: But, Ben-- Her Cellphone rings. She answers it. Hello? What?! No! No! No! That's crazy! Is he nuts? Move the meeting up to five and tell the plant foreman that I'm coming over personally to inspect those parts. I know... I know! That's what I told him--[/i]



Mo: Excuse me? What was that last part? No, no, no. That alloy was flawed to begin with. Uh-huh. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Good, great.



THE END

Next: Check the last update for bonus material, including an Easter egg that shows up after the credits.

Part 11: Assorted Odds and Ends

This is just a special little section where I'll put things that don't fit anywhere else. We'll start with videos.

To start: a little something I made. I call it: Full Throttle: a retrospective of tastes.

Next: The song "Increased Chances", which plays in Todd's trailer. It's very odd but also very funny. Get it here.

For some reason, people in the thread liked the pictures where characters were all wide-eyed, so have the ones you didn't get to see.





In addition: Here are the derby plans again with no subtitles to obstruct. There's a lot of fun little things written all over them.





Another thing Goons liked was the picture of Ben holding the spiked skull-mace. So much, in fact, that a forum-goer Krolm made a sweet wallpaper of it.

800 x 600
1024 x 768
1280 x 1024
1600 x 1200

And now, we finally come to the credits. More specifically, to the end of them. Things get crazier as you go along, culminating in all of this:







splitting lanes at rush
beemer tries for a cut off
taste my righteous chain
-Peter McConnell

booming thunder rolls
clutch release throttle open
red smear on pavement
-Tom Payne

wet grease on the road
makes me laugh as my buddy
slides under a truck
-Troy Molander

on the road for days
two wheels, an engine, and me
I don't brush my teeth
-Brian Bonet

sky covers the land
dark goggles cover my eyes
speed covers my tracks
-Hal Barwood

road rises upward
forehead smiles for the pavement
cranium tastes bad
-Jonathan Ackley

Emmet drops a load
green crap coats the road like snow
just take a little
-Ryan Kaufman

Todd doesn't like you
bang on door but say nothing
can not you talk, henh?
-Khris Brown

whiffin' the asphalt
hot leather, shiny metal
see, I am manly
...
my male fantasy
now a profit-making game
maybe I'll get chicks
-Michele Harrell

And that's all I have to show you except the Easter Egg that comes up after the credits. I'll leave you with that.







watch it