[0000] Each tombstone has an epitaph written on it.
[0001] 1643

Here lies Newberry Will,
His life was finished 'cause he took ill,
But none'll miss him, he should've been wiser,
'Tis his own fault, for bein' such a miser.
[0002] Here lies the body of Mary Ann Lowder,
She burst while drinking a seidlitz powder,
Called from this world to her heavenly rest,
She should have waited till it effervesced.

[0003] To the ever living memory of Hiram Bennet,
baby son of Edward and Sarah Bennet,
who by a sudden-surprize fell asleep,
the 11th day of November, 1553
Aged 6 months.
[0004] Six feet beneath
This funeral wreath
Is laid upon the shelf
One Jerry Jones,
Who dealt in bones,
And now he's bones himself.
[0005] Lord Coningsby
1559 to 1626

Sleepeth here in peace:
an honorable man, a valiant soldier.
He served his country well.
[0006] I plant these shrubs upon your grave, dear wife,
That something on this spot may boast of life.
Shrubs must whither and all earth must rot;
Shrubs may revive: but you, thank heaven, will not.
[0007] Beneath this stone, a lump of clay,
Lies Uncle Peter Dan'els,
Who, early in the month of May,
Took off his winter flannels.
[0008] Dr. I Letsome

When people's ill they come to I,
I physics, bleeds, and sweats 'em;
Sometimes they live, Sometimes they die;
What's that to I? I Letsome.

[0009] Here I lie with my three daughters,
Who died drinking Chelt'nam waters.
If we had stuck to Epsom Salt,
We should not sleep in this cold vault.

[0010] Strong and athletic was my frame;
Far from my native home I came,
And manly fought with Simon Byrne;
Alas! but liv'd not to return.

Reader, take warning by my fate,
Lest you should rue your case too late;
If you have ever fought before,
Determine now to fight no more.
[0011] Thorp's Corpse.
[0012] There is nothing of importance in the old tree.
[0013] One of the graves is marked by a cross.
[0014] An old, rotting tree adds appropriate charm to the decrepit cemetery.
[0015] The hole is empty.
[0016] This run-down, gloomy cemetery gives you the creeps! Many of the old tombstones have fallen over, and the entire place is overgrown with grass and weeds. 
[0017] Try somewhere else. The ground is too hard here.
[0018] You don't know what to dig for...yet.
[0019] You have nothing to dig with.
[0020] The terrifying zombie senses your obsidian scarab. It immediately retreats and goes back to whence it came.
[0021] To wander forever is now your fate.
[0022] Oh, Oh! You've broken your shovel!
[0023] You dig a small hole at the grave of the old miser. Aha! You have found a bag of gold coins!
[0024] You carefully dig a small hole at the poor baby's grave. What is this?! You have uncovered a silver baby rattle!
[0025] You dig a small hole at the grave of the Lord of the Manor. Gotcha! You have found an impressive Medal of Honor!
[0026] You dig a small hole...but find nothing of interest.
[0027] You bend down, pick it up, and carry it with you.
