From e45771a678a99777b4b1bf5ec4ebf2215621218f Mon Sep 17 00:00:00 2001 From: Bryce Covert Date: Fri, 6 Nov 2015 09:55:03 -0800 Subject: [PATCH] including dialogue tweaks. --- .../advent/screens/rooms/inside_jail.clj | 2 +- .../advent/screens/rooms/outside_castle.clj | 56 +++++++++---------- .../advent/screens/rooms/outside_house.clj | 47 ++++++++-------- .../advent/screens/rooms/outside_jail.clj | 2 +- .../src-common/advent/screens/rooms/space.clj | 12 ++-- desktop/src-common/advent/screens/scene.clj | 8 +-- 6 files changed, 63 insertions(+), 64 deletions(-) diff --git a/desktop/src-common/advent/screens/rooms/inside_jail.clj b/desktop/src-common/advent/screens/rooms/inside_jail.clj index a5add012..0ab300d6 100644 --- a/desktop/src-common/advent/screens/rooms/inside_jail.clj +++ b/desktop/src-common/advent/screens/rooms/inside_jail.clj @@ -370,7 +370,7 @@ (get-in @entities [:state :warden-fast-asleep?]) (get-key entities) (get-in @entities [:state :warden-sleeping?]) (do (actions/walk-to entities :ego [103 82]) (actions/do-dialogue entities - :ego "You-hoo! Mr. Warden?" + :ego "Yoo-hoo! Mr. Warden?" :ego "I guess he's really fast asleep!") (actions/update-state entities #(assoc % :warden-fast-asleep? true))) diff --git a/desktop/src-common/advent/screens/rooms/outside_castle.clj b/desktop/src-common/advent/screens/rooms/outside_castle.clj index ed70c553..d29be300 100644 --- a/desktop/src-common/advent/screens/rooms/outside_castle.clj +++ b/desktop/src-common/advent/screens/rooms/outside_castle.clj @@ -19,7 +19,7 @@ (defn do-initial-peddler-conversation [entities] (actions/do-dialogue entities :ego "Hello there, peddler." - :peddler "Good day sir! Care to see any of my wares?" + :peddler "Good day, sir! Care to see any of my wares?" :peddler "I have only the choicest of wares." :ego "What 'wares' are you selling?" :peddler "I have the choicest of all types of wares..." @@ -27,17 +27,17 @@ :peddler "...glass eyes..." :peddler "... and motivational tapes." :peddler "And today, I have a one day special!" - :peddler "Every purchase comes with a free balloon!") + :peddler "Every purchase comes with the choicest of balloons!") (actions/present-choices entities {:choices ["I'm interested in your earplugs." {:run #(do (actions/update-state entities (fn [state] (assoc state :wants-toy true))) (actions/respond entities % :peddler "A choice choice sir!" - :peddler "These earplugs have been used by the the choicest of wearers." + :peddler "These earplugs have been used by the choicest of wearers." :peddler "I can see a young man like yourself enjoying these choice earplugs for ages to come!" :peddler "And remember, every purchase comes with the choicest of balloons!" :peddler "That'll just be 10 sheckels." :ego "But I haven't got any money!" - :peddler "Well I'm afraid you won't have the choicest of earplugs." + :peddler "Well, I'm afraid you won't have the choicest of earplugs." :ego "Can't I give you something else for them?" :peddler "I'll tell you what, I don't have any thing for the kids that come to my stand." :peddler "If you can bring me the choicest of toys..." @@ -47,13 +47,13 @@ {:run #(do (actions/update-state entities (fn [state] (assoc state :wants-toy true))) (actions/respond entities % :peddler "The choicest choice, young man!" - :peddler "This glass eye is made out of the choicest glass, from across the sea." + :peddler "This glass eye is made out of the choicest glass from across the sea." :peddler "And remember, every purchase comes with the choicest of balloons!" :peddler "That'll just be 95 sheckels." :ego "But I haven't got any money!" - :peddler "Well I'm afraid you won't have the choicest of glass eyes." + :peddler "Well, I'm afraid you won't have the choicest of glass eyes." :ego "Can't I give you something else for them?" - :peddler "I'll tell you what, I don't have any thing for the kids that come to my stand." + :peddler "I'll tell you what, I don't have anything for the kids that come to my stand." :peddler "If you can bring me the choicest of toys..." :peddler "... and I mean the choicest of toys... " :peddler "Then I'll give you the glass eye." @@ -66,9 +66,9 @@ :peddler "These choicest of motivation tapes will convince you that life isn't so bad." :peddler "For only 3 easy payments of 29.99 scheckles, they're yours!" :ego "But I'm broke!" - :peddler "Well I'm afraid you won't have the choicest of motivational tapes." + :peddler "Well, I'm afraid you won't have the choicest of motivational tapes." :ego "Is there anything else you'd take instead?" - :peddler "I'll tell you what, I don't have any thing for the kids that come to my stand." + :peddler "I'll tell you what, I don't have anything for the kids that come to my stand." :peddler "If you can bring me the choicest of toys..." :peddler "... and I mean the choicest of toys... " :peddler "Then I'll give you the motivational tapes." @@ -83,13 +83,13 @@ :peddler "What would you like?") (actions/present-choices entities {:choices ["The glass eye." - {:run #(do (actions/respond entities % :peddler "Of course sir. Here you go.") + {:run #(do (actions/respond entities % :peddler "Of course, sir. Here you go.") (actions/give entities :glass-eye))} "The motivational tapes." - {:run #(do (actions/respond entities % :peddler "Of course sir. Here you go.") + {:run #(do (actions/respond entities % :peddler "Of course, sir. Here you go.") (actions/give entities :motivational-tapes))} "The used earplugs." - {:run #(do (actions/respond entities % :peddler "Of course sir. Here you go.") + {:run #(do (actions/respond entities % :peddler "Of course, sir. Here you go.") (actions/give entities :used-earplugs))}]}) (actions/talk entities :peddler "And, of course, here is your balloon.") (actions/give entities :balloon) @@ -116,8 +116,8 @@ (give-teddy entities)) (actions/do-dialogue entities :ego "No, no, and no." - :peddler "Well come back when you have something I'm interested in." - :peddler "Remember - I have a one-day special going." + :peddler "Well, come back when you have something I'm interested in." + :peddler "Remember, I have a one-day special going." :peddler "Every purchase comes with a free balloon!"))) (defn walk-to-peddler [entities] @@ -145,10 +145,10 @@ (actions/do-dialogue entities :frankie "And how about that? A glass eye." :frankie "And not only that, it's the choicest of glass eyes!" - :frankie "It must be made of the choicest glass, from across the sea!" + :frankie "It must be made of the choicest glass from across the sea!" :frankie "This'll be perfect for when I punch your eye out, Dipstick." :frankie "Or, I could fetch some real good dough for this." - :frankie "What would you say boys?") + :frankie "What would you say, boys?") (actions/play-animation entities :frankie :glance) (actions/do-dialogue entities :frankie "95 sheckles?")) (actions/has-item? entities :used-earplugs) (do @@ -158,16 +158,16 @@ :frankie "Wow! These are the choicest of earplugs!" :frankie "They're great for tuning out your voice, Dipstick!" :frankie "But, I could fetch some real good dough for them." - :frankie "What would you say boys? ") + :frankie "What would you say, boys?") (actions/play-animation entities :frankie :glance) (actions/do-dialogue entities :frankie "10 sheckels?")) (actions/has-item? entities :motivational-tapes) (do (actions/remove-item entities :motivational-tapes) (actions/do-dialogue entities - :frankie "And how about that? Some motivational tapes" + :frankie "And how about that? Some motivational tapes." :frankie "Wow! These are the choicest of motivational tapes!" :frankie "But, I could fetch some real good dough for them." - :frankie "What would you say boys? ") + :frankie "What would you say, boys?") (actions/play-animation entities :frankie :glance) (actions/do-dialogue entities :frankie "3 easy payments of 29.99 sheckles?")))) @@ -178,28 +178,28 @@ (if (get-in @entities [:state :seen-frankie?]) ((rand-nth [#(do (actions/do-dialogue entities - :frankie "Well, well, well. What have we here boys?" + :frankie "Well, well, well. What have we here, boys?" :frankie "It's good ol' Dipstick again.") (actions/play-animation entities :frankie :laugh)) #(do (actions/do-dialogue entities - :frankie "Quiet boys." + :frankie "Quiet, boys." :frankie "Dipstick's here.") )])) (do - (actions/do-dialogue entities :frankie "Well, well, well. What have we here boys?") + (actions/do-dialogue entities :frankie "Well, well, well. What have we here, boys?") (actions/play-animation entities :frankie :glance) (actions/do-dialogue entities :frankie "It's good ol' Dipstick.") (actions/play-animation entities :frankie :laugh) (actions/do-dialogue entities - :ego "Uh, oh. Frankie Rockfist!" + :ego "Oh no! Frankie Rockfist!" :ego "Listen, I don't want any trouble." :frankie "Well you found it tonight, Dipstick." ) (actions/play-animation entities :frankie :flex) - (actions/talk entities :frankie "Am I right boys?") + (actions/talk entities :frankie "Am I right, boys?") (actions/play-animation entities :frankie :glance) - (actions/do-dialogue entities :frankie "You looking for another beat down Dipstick?") + (actions/do-dialogue entities :frankie "You looking for another beat down, Dipstick?") (actions/play-animation entities :frankie :laugh) (actions/do-dialogue entities :ego "The name's \"Tick\"..." @@ -227,7 +227,7 @@ (actions/update-state entities #(assoc % :bubba-gone? true)) (actions/do-dialogue entities :frankie "Bubba, put this stuff in the secret stash." - :goon-2 "You got it boss.") + :goon-2 "You got it, boss.") (actions/remove-entity entities :coin-flip) (actions/walk-straight-to entities :goon-2 [0 100]) (actions/do-dialogue entities @@ -378,7 +378,7 @@ (actions/do-dialogue entities :ego "It's Angus, Remington's buff bull." :ego "He's used in all of the town's rodeos." - :ego "Farmer Doug feeds him an exclusive wild high-protein grass diet to keep him in tip top shape." + :ego "Farmer Doug feeds him wild high-protein grass diet to keep him in tiptop shape." :ego "He looks mean, I'd rather not pet him.")) :scripts #(condp = % :grass (actions/get-script entities @@ -429,7 +429,7 @@ (actions/talk entities :ego "I think it's working!") (actions/play-animation entities :ego :squat) (actions/give entities :flies) - (actions/talk entities :ego "Hopefully they won't fly out of my backpack."))} + (actions/talk entities :ego "Hopefully, they won't fly out of my backpack."))} )} :note (rooms/make-entity :note (assoc (utils/get-texture "outside-castle/note.png") :x 198 :y 66 :baseline 174 diff --git a/desktop/src-common/advent/screens/rooms/outside_house.clj b/desktop/src-common/advent/screens/rooms/outside_house.clj index 1ce71a16..f4c7f02e 100644 --- a/desktop/src-common/advent/screens/rooms/outside_house.clj +++ b/desktop/src-common/advent/screens/rooms/outside_house.clj @@ -190,7 +190,7 @@ (defn do-prophecy [entities] {:run #(do (actions/respond entities % - :wizard "Well let me remind you." + :wizard "Well, let me remind you." :wizard "'On the day when it shall be pulled,\nWith much strength a knight will take hold.'")) :choices ["Is this almost over?" @@ -199,7 +199,7 @@ :wizard "Patience, boy." :wizard "'Courage will he need,\nWisdom he shall heed.'" :wizard "'A final test remains, behold!'" - :wizard "If this is truely your quest, then I will help you. " + :wizard "If this is truly your quest, then I will help you. " :ego "So you're my friend now, Gandarf?" :wizard "No."))} "*cough* *cough* *ahem*" @@ -208,20 +208,20 @@ :wizard "Excuse you. Moving on..." :wizard "'Courage will he need,\nWisdom he shall heed.'" :wizard "'A final test remains, behold!'" - :wizard "If this is truely your quest, then I will help you. " + :wizard "If this is truly your quest, then I will help you. " :ego "So you're my friend now, Gandarf?" :wizard "No.") (utils/save @entities :autosave "Autosave"))}]}) (defn wizard-dialogue [entities] (if (get-in @entities [:state :has-met-gandarf?]) - (do (actions/do-dialogue entities :ego "Hello again Gandarf!" + (do (actions/do-dialogue entities :ego "Hello again, Gandarf!" :wizard "Not you again!") (actions/talk entities :wizard "I command you, leave at once!" :anim :talk-angry :stop? false) (actions/talk entities :wizard "Don't make me use my powers against you!" :anim :talk-angry :stop? false) (actions/talk entities :wizard "Leave now, or else!" :anim :talk-angry :stop? false) (actions/begin-animation entities :wizard :magic-hands)) - (do (actions/do-dialogue entities :ego "Hello there Gandarf!" + (do (actions/do-dialogue entities :ego "Hello there, Gandarf!" :wizard "Oh no, not you!" :ego "What do you mean, 'not you!'?" :wizard "I mean, you've wrecked my life!" @@ -239,7 +239,7 @@ :choices ["You mean the time I set your house on fire with a lava mint?" {:run #(do (actions/respond entities % - :wizard "No, of course n...") + :wizard "No, of course n-") (Thread/sleep 500) (actions/do-dialogue entities :wizard "Wait... that was you!?" :wizard "My house was completely destroyed!") (Thread/sleep 500) @@ -258,9 +258,8 @@ :wizard "Of course I'm cross! It's irreplaceable!" :wizard "That cowboy hat accented my facial physique." :wizard "And complemented my skin color." - :wizard "And you little pipsqueak stole it from me!" - :wizard "That's why I bought my Magi-Safe 5000, to keep out intruders like you." - ) + :wizard "And you, little pipsqueak, stole it from me!" + :wizard "That's why I bought my Magi-Safe 5000: To keep out intruders like you.") (actions/talk entities :wizard "Now leave, before I force you out!" :anim :talk-angry :stop? false) (actions/begin-animation entities :wizard :magic-hands) (actions/transition-background entities :outside-house [257 90] :face :left) @@ -299,7 +298,7 @@ (actions/talk entities :ego "Gandarf is such a stingy old toad."))} "To find you a brand new dragon." {:run #(do (actions/respond entities % - :wizard "Great idea Tick!" + :wizard "Great idea, Tick!" :wizard "You'd make the perfect base for a dragon-bait stew!" :wizard "Let me just summon my boy-sized cooking pot.") (actions/talk entities :wizard "Boildrum Ka...." :anim :talk-angry :stop? false) @@ -321,9 +320,9 @@ :wizard "I dreamed I was an earthworm." :wizard "And you'd never guess what happened when I woke up." :ego "What?" - :wizard "I had indigestion." + :wizard "Nothing. I had some indigestion." :wizard "Dreams aren't all they're chocked up to be." - :wizard "Face it boy, it was just a dream. " + :wizard "Face it, boy, it was just a dream. " :wizard "You'll never be a knight." :wizard "Now go.") (actions/transition-background entities :outside-house [257 90] :face :left) @@ -348,7 +347,7 @@ :wizard "Your cause is noble, and your heart is just." :wizard "Just don't let me catch you stealing my belongings.") (Thread/sleep 1000) - (actions/do-dialogue entities :wizard "Now Tick, do you know the prophecy of the Sword of Blergh?")) + (actions/do-dialogue entities :wizard "Now, Tick, do you know the prophecy of the Sword of Blergh?")) :choices ["Yes." (do-prophecy entities) "No." @@ -382,13 +381,13 @@ :wizard "Surely thou doth know that thou can speaketh in this manner." :wizard "Thy tongue requireth neither sword nor title.") :choices actions/previous-choices}]} - "By besting trap, beast, and long, boring, conversation with old gheezers." + "By besting trap, beast, and long, boring, conversation with old geezers." {:run #(do (actions/respond entities % :wizard "Quite right, quite right.") (Thread/sleep 1000) (actions/do-dialogue entities :wizard "Wait." - :wizard "What 'old gheezer' are you referring to?" + :wizard "What 'old geezer' are you referring to?" :ego "Umm...") (actions/talk entities :wizard "You don't happen to be referring to me, do you?" :anim :talk-angry :stop? false) (actions/begin-animation entities :wizard :magic-hands) @@ -402,11 +401,11 @@ :wizard "Ha! Good standing?" :wizard "You're the neighborhood cheat and everyone knows it." :wizard "I'm afraid your standing is irreparable." - :wizard "Now leave me to mourn ol' Snaggletooh.") + :wizard "Now leave me to mourn ol' Snaggletooth.") (actions/transition-background entities :outside-house [257 90] :face :left) (actions/play-animation entities :ego :sigh))} ]} - "Snaggletooth deserved a free life, you old gheezer!" + "Snaggletooth deserved a free life, you old geezer!" {:run #(do (actions/respond entities % :wizard "Why, you..." :wizard "Snaggletooth was my friend!") (Thread/sleep 1000) @@ -457,7 +456,7 @@ :wizard "Hurry, boy! Time's-a-wastin'!") (do (actions/do-dialogue entities :ego "Gandarf! Boy am I glad to see you." - :wizard "I'm busy. What is it Tick?") + :wizard "I'm busy. What is it, Tick?") (actions/present-choices entities {:choices ["I got put in jail!" {:run #(actions/respond entities % @@ -472,7 +471,7 @@ :wizard "You did?" :wizard "Congratulations, Tick!" :wizard "Meanwhile, my life hasn't been going so great." - :wizard "Someone broken into my MagiSafe 5000 and stole some things from my hut." + :wizard "Someone broke into my MagiSafe 5000 and stole some things from my hut." :ego "Oh." :ego "How awful!") :choices actions/previous-choices} @@ -484,7 +483,7 @@ :ego "Yes, that Bloodclot!" :wizard "I knew that there would be a 'final test' for the hero who pulled the blade..." :wizard "But I never imagined this." - :wizard "There's only one way to neutralize his lighting magic:" + :wizard "There's only one way to neutralize his lightning magic:" :wizard "The Slinger's Shot." :wizard "It's a magical slingshot that has long lost its power." :wizard "Here, take it.") @@ -624,7 +623,7 @@ (actions/remove-entity entities :experiment)) (if (get-in @entities [:state :convinced-wizard?]) - (do (actions/talk entities :wizard (str "Oh, hello there boy.")) + (do (actions/talk entities :wizard "Oh, hello there, boy.") (utils/save @entities :autosave "Autosave")) (wizard-dialogue entities))))) :cursor :right} @@ -680,7 +679,7 @@ (leave-sheep entities)) (do (walk-to-sheep entities) - (actions/talk entities :ego "Come here mama sheep!") + (actions/talk entities :ego "Come here, mama sheep!") (actions/play-animation entities :ego :sigh) (actions/talk entities :ego "She's too far away for me to pet her.") (leave-sheep entities))))) @@ -689,13 +688,13 @@ (actions/talk entities :ego "She doesn't need it back.")) :grass (actions/get-script entities (walk-to-sheep entities) - (actions/talk entities :ego "Come on girl, get the grass!") + (actions/talk entities :ego "Come on, girl, get the grass!") (actions/play-animation entities :ego :reach) (actions/talk entities :ego "I think she's not interested.") (leave-sheep entities)) :carrot (actions/get-script entities (walk-to-sheep entities) - (actions/talk entities :ego "Come on girl, get the carrot!") + (actions/talk entities :ego "Come on, girl, get the carrot!") (actions/walk-straight-to entities :sheep [90 138] :update-baseline? false) (actions/play-animation entities :ego :reach) (actions/remove-item entities :carrot) diff --git a/desktop/src-common/advent/screens/rooms/outside_jail.clj b/desktop/src-common/advent/screens/rooms/outside_jail.clj index 8e12d296..26b05a6a 100644 --- a/desktop/src-common/advent/screens/rooms/outside_jail.clj +++ b/desktop/src-common/advent/screens/rooms/outside_jail.clj @@ -120,7 +120,7 @@ (actions/talk entities :warden "NO VISITORS!"))))} :window {:box [62 175 80 212] :script (actions/get-script entities - (actions/talk entities :ego "I wonder if anyone is prisoner up there?"))} + (actions/talk entities :ego "I wonder if anyone is imprisoned up there?"))} :sign {:box [5 173 61 199] :script (actions/get-script entities (actions/talk entities :ego "J.A.I.L. Jail. Can't you read?"))} diff --git a/desktop/src-common/advent/screens/rooms/space.clj b/desktop/src-common/advent/screens/rooms/space.clj index 5f860548..e3b710d8 100644 --- a/desktop/src-common/advent/screens/rooms/space.clj +++ b/desktop/src-common/advent/screens/rooms/space.clj @@ -22,11 +22,11 @@ (not (get-in entities [:state :blergh-dead?])) (not (actions/has-item? entities :magic-slingshot))) ((actions/get-script entities (actions/do-dialogue entities :bloodclot-head (rand-nth ["Come over here, so I can eat you!" - "The taste of children makes my tummy rumble!" - "Come here and fight me like man!" - "Georgia McGorgeous will be so impressed with how quickly I eat you!" - "Come on, I'm hungry!" - "First I'll eat you, then I'll eat Georgia McGorgeous!"]))) entities)) + "The taste of children makes my tummy rumble!" + "Come here and fight me like a good little morsel!" + "Georgia McGorgeous will be so impressed with how quickly I eat you!" + "Come on, I'm hungry!" + "First I'll eat you, then I'll eat Georgia McGorgeous!"]))) entities)) nil) (defn shock [screen entities] @@ -283,7 +283,7 @@ (utils/save-chapter @entities :chapter-3)))) :magic-slingshot (actions/get-script entities (actions/do-dialogue entities - :ego "Hey Bloodclot!" + :ego "Hey, Bloodclot!" :ego "Eat this!") (actions/play-animation entities :ego :shoot) (actions/add-entity entities :bullet (get-in @entities [:room :bullet])) diff --git a/desktop/src-common/advent/screens/scene.clj b/desktop/src-common/advent/screens/scene.clj index 85222f8d..e9c0473c 100644 --- a/desktop/src-common/advent/screens/scene.clj +++ b/desktop/src-common/advent/screens/scene.clj @@ -283,11 +283,11 @@ void main () (actions/do-dialogue entities :ego "The recipe says:" :ego "'For strength beyond measure,\nyou must mix, at your leisure:'" - :ego "'1. Cream of mushroom soup.'" - :ego "'2. Saliva of the creature whose strength you want to match.'" - :ego "'3. Mandrake root.'" + :ego "'- A bowl of soup, shroom cream will do'" + :ego "'- Spit of beast whose strength will imbue'" + :ego "'- Mandrake root completes the brew'" :ego "'A word of warning, before you go.\nA sip is all it takes to grow.'" - :ego "'Not more than that do drink,\nOr you'll push your body to the brink.'" + :ego "'Not more than that do drink,\nOr risk your body pushed to brink.'" :ego "Hmm. I wonder what that last part means?")) :portrait