diff --git a/desktop/src-common/advent/screens/rooms/inside_cafeteria.clj b/desktop/src-common/advent/screens/rooms/inside_cafeteria.clj
index da4515eb..708f57e4 100644
--- a/desktop/src-common/advent/screens/rooms/inside_cafeteria.clj
+++ b/desktop/src-common/advent/screens/rooms/inside_cafeteria.clj
@@ -56,6 +56,52 @@
                                       "Goodbye."
                                       {:run #(actions/respond entities % :warriors "Fare thee well, and godspeed.")}]}))
 
+(defn do-ladder-guard-dialogue [entities]
+  (actions/walk-to entities :ego [170 45] :face :right)
+  (actions/do-dialogue entities
+                       :ego "Hello."
+                       :ladder-guard "'Ello, young sire.")
+  (actions/present-choices entities {:choices ["Nice ladder."
+                                               {:run #(actions/respond entities %
+                                                                       :ladder-guard "Tis nice, indeed!"
+                                                                       :ladder-guard "Belongeth to the Duke of Remington, it doth.")
+                                                :choices ["Can I have it?"
+                                                          {:run #(actions/respond entities % :ladder-guard "No.")
+                                                           :choices ["Please?"
+                                                                     {:run #(actions/respond entities %
+                                                                                             :ladder-guard "No.")
+                                                                      :choices ["Pretty please?"
+                                                                                {:run #(actions/respond entities %
+                                                                                                        :ladder-guard "No.")
+                                                                                 :choices ["Pretty pretty please?"
+                                                                                           {:run #(do (actions/respond entities %
+                                                                                                                       :ladder-guard "Well, okay."
+                                                                                                                       :ladder-guard "Do not darest telleth a soul, or the Duke will haveth my head!")
+                                                                                                      (actions/walk-to entities :ego [245 75] :face :right)
+                                                                                                      (actions/play-animation entities :ego :reach)
+                                                                                                      (actions/remove-entity entities :ladder))}
+                                                                                           "Nevermind."
+                                                                                           {:run #(actions/respond entities %)}]}
+                                                                                "Nevermind."
+                                                                                {:run #(actions/respond entities %)}]}
+                                                                     "Nevermind."
+                                                                     {:run #(actions/respond entities %)}]}
+                                                          "Something else."
+                                                          {:choices actions/something-else}]}
+                                               "Why aren't you sitting and eating?"
+                                               {:run #(actions/respond entities %
+                                                                       :ladder-guard "I'm oneth duty, young sire."
+                                                                       :ladder-guard "Dost thou seeth this ladder?"
+                                                                       :ladder-guard "Tis my duty to guardeth it."
+                                                                       :ladder-guard "Why, if I didst sit and dineth with my friends, a hoodlum wouldst steal it.")
+                                                :choices actions/previous-choices}
+                                               "What's your name?"
+                                               {:run #(actions/respond entities % :ladder-guard "Tim.")
+                                                :choices actions/previous-choices}
+                                               "Goodbye."
+                                               {:run #(actions/respond entities % "Goodbye.")}]})
+  )
+
 (defn make [screen]
   (let [warriors-stand-sheet (texture! (texture "inside-cafeteria/warriors-stand.png") :split 66 126)
         warriors-stand (animation 0.2 (for [i [0 0 0 0 0 0 1 1 0 0 1 1 1 0 0 2 2 2 2 3 3 3 0 0 0 2 2 2 ]]
@@ -89,8 +135,7 @@
                            :ladder-guard (actions/start-animation screen (assoc (animation->texture screen ladder-guard-stand) :x 202 :y 85 :baseline 155
                                                                                 :stand ladder-guard-stand
                                                                                 :talk ladder-guard-talk
-                                                                                :script (actions/get-script entities
-                                                                                                            (actions/talk entities :ladder-guard "Moveth along, young sire.")))
+                                                                                :script (actions/get-script entities (do-ladder-guard-dialogue entities)))
                                                                   :stand)
                            :ladder (assoc (texture "inside-cafeteria/ladder.png") :x 250 :y 85 :baseline 155
                                           :script (actions/get-script entities